Yesterday was one of those days. I woke up took a shower dressed up and just when I got at the door I changed my mind and sat on the couch.. all day long.

By evening I was bored to my skin not even watching a movie would save me. I called a friend and asked him to give me a subject to write on.

He took me years back, thirteen to be precise. He told me to write about my first love. I wasn’t sure if I should write about how it felt then or how I feel about it now. Maybe I should do both.

I remember the dust

He came to me in August

They say the first cut is the deepest

I tried to get more words but lol nothing came. Why can’t I write about something that I felt so strongly about. Then I remembered, the feelings were real but the person was never.

The one thing that he said that was true about himself was his name. The rest was a made up person that he knew I would fall for. And to think I wasted my first innocent self on that!!!! Why would the world be so unfair to me.

And when my son tells a lie, I see his dad and just wanna slap him to oblivion.

Save some girl from the misery I have been through.

I do not mean having my son makes me miserable. No. I wish I had him with the right person, he could have the life he’s always wanted. To have both his parents with him raising him. I was brought up by a single mum myself, never would I wish my child to miss out on being raised by his dad.

But you can never know where you stand with a liar. Even today I can never tale if what he says is the truth or a lie. Am not talking about a small lie like am in town when actually I am just getting out of bed (still that is a tale tale sign of a liar)

Am talking about a seasoned confident manipulator. Every story is made up even the truth is exaggerated to make up for some inadequacy in education and social status.

If I give you ten minutes with him, you’ll fall  in love with him. And wonder why I left such a wonderful person coz he’s got a smooth tongue. Everywhere he goes people love him, he would do very well in politics.

Only when you’ve had a baby with him and staying together then you start to unravel the truth piece by piece. Then it hits you, girl you’ve been building your dreams on rotting garbage. Run before it crambles.

That’s what I did.

Next time friend, don’t ask me to write about my first love. I do not know what that feels like. What I had was an illusion.


8 thoughts on “Fast love

  1. I admit, when I first read this, I was not in a place to comment. It must’ve been striking too close to home. The guy I wrote about was not my first love, but kind of a potential or possible first love after having been on hiatus from love for such a long time.

    Please forgive the platitude, but this experience made you the strong, beautiful woman you are today. Every single one of my male friends who was raised by a single mom can attest to YOUR strength, and there are quite a few, strangely enough (more like a happy coincidence, I think!).

    You’re teaching your son greatness, even though you had to pay such a heavy price for it.

    Thank you for sharing your story. It makes me feel less alone, as I’ve just today found the guts to sort that mess, though while you were writing this, my mess was in full swing. I should’ve let your words wash over me then and I’d have saved myself precious time.

    Wishing you lots of love and happiness and safety in future relationships. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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