Saturday January 20th
Adongo (my bestie)is super excited about Jay and I dating. The moment he told her, (she asked), that he had asked me and the answer was yes she set a wedding month. She already has a wedding dress and the whole wedding, engagement, dowry visits figured out. She’s surely acting like a girl in love.
I am not there yet. She doesn’t understand why, considering we have organized weddings before without a man even in view.
I am really cautious. For one, Jay is the exact opposite of those I have dated before. I swore that I would not marry from his region reason being that my dad is from the same region and I never met him.
I actually I have no idea who he is, I waited all my childhood for him to come for me but he never did. And I developed a negative opinion of his whole lot.
I have my own reservations about marriage too. It was never a necessity in my life until I started practicing my faith which forbids “intimacy” before marriege.
As days go by, all I get to here about marriage are negative stories. And that scares me out of my skin. Recently just before Jay came along I had been saying repeatedly that I do not want to get married. I am still not sure that I want to. But I need a companion coz it get really lonely sometimes, most times actually.
I like Jay. I liked him from before, three years ago when we would meet for worship before he disappeared.
Now he’s back and he wants me. I should be excited, scream his name in my sleep. Act like a girl in love.
Yesterday in the evening I found my self telling him of my fears and concerns about marriage. I felt bad because I sounded really pessimistic even to myself that I asked to hung up and go to bed. I didn’t wanna talk any more and went to bed feeling depressed.
The next day when I told him why I didn’t want to talk in length….
He said we should focus on friendship, let marriage come when it feels right.
Sounds really nice, something that I want to have.
I actually feel love, it takes writing to bring out my feelings.


4 thoughts on “Act like a girl in love

  1. I am happy for you, even in your indecisive state. If this relationship is the real thing, it
    won’t hurt to slow down and think about it. Jay is not pressuring you. That is a good sign.

    I’ve been married for more than 40 years — to the same man! I heard that silent voice telling me that this was the man I should marry, even though we’d never have any money. It took my husband two years to know the same thing. I thought happiness would only be possible with a rich man/high-paying career of my own. Not true.

    We Quakers have “clearness committee” meet with the couple considering marriage. We ask questions, get the couple to examine their attitudes about possible stumbling blocks in their relationship (e.g. money, family tensions, habits). Do you have someone to help you in this way? It might put your reservations at rest.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The fact that you got physical connection nailed so much. Guided by Jehovah God, marriage is beautiful. Adongo is surely over the top but girl, act like you in love.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s